Behold! The Power of Cheese

From Yahoo news "Experts praise airport security warning"

"The TSA's intelligence circular that leaked this week demonstrates that the agency the flying public loves to hate has matured beyond confiscating nail clippers, tweezers and lighters, they said Wednesday."

They have moved on to the threat of blocks of cheese and wires.

"Honestly, I don't care if someone is carrying a water bottle, wearing a head scarf, or buying a one-way ticket, but if someone has a block of cheese with wires and a detonator — I want the FBI to be called in," said Bruce Schneier, chief technology officer at the security firm BT Counterpane.

Cheese is a good stand-in for explosives, such as C4 and Semtex, that are favored by terrorists because they can look similar to X-ray scanners, he said.

The Interior monologue of a Green Bay resident: "Please don't let it be Wisconsin cheese! Please don't let it be Wisconsin cheese!"

I've heard there is no such thing as bad press. This would not be an issue if it were French cheese. "Eight out of ten martyrs choose Crottin de Chavignol fromage from the city of Amour (home of Anti-American Surrender Monkeys).

I am aware that cheese can cause debilitating constipation, which I'm certain, if combined with crackers, could wreak havoc among travelers. I would suggest a ban of these two products.

To my knowledge, the following items have been banned:

• Bottled water and any liquids
• Tweezers
• Lighters
• Matches
• Knives and razors

Which shows that with the right tools you can either survive in the wilderness like Bear Grylls (with a comfortable hotel stay) or overthrow Western Democracy. I would seriously consider placing Richard Dean Anderson (McGyver) on the No-Fly List.

[ Doing my part, I have eliminated these items from my home. So far, I've been extremely thirsty, hairs can't be tweezed or pulled and hose littered with unopened boxes from my favorite online retailer. So, my house is a wreck and I look unkempt. It's the price you pay for freedom. ]

Remember kids, don't try to take your potato powered calculator to Grandmas this summer, it could land you in Gitmo. They don't have cable TV and Wii game consoles in Gitmo.

I rarely take things seriously, but I do worry when NewsMax tells the story:

Airports Warned of 'Dry Run' Attacks

"Airport security officers around the nation have been alerted by federal officials to look out for terrorists practicing to carry explosive components onto aircraft, based on four curious seizures at airports since last September.

The unclassified alert was distributed on July 20 by the Transportation Security Administration to federal air marshals, its own transportation security officers and other law enforcement agencies. [Editor's Note: Be prepared for terror with an Emergency Radio. Homeland Security says every home should have one. Get our FREE offer Emergency Radio -- Go Here Now.]"

As frightened as I am, I'm appreciative of the special offer for the free Emergency Radio. Let's look closely at the facts.

"The four seizures were described this way:

San Diego, July 7. A U.S. person either a citizen or a foreigner legally here checked baggage containing two ice packs covered in duct tape. The ice packs had clay inside them rather than the normal blue gel.

Milwaukee, June 4. A U.S. person's carryon baggage contained wire coil wrapped around a possible initiator, an electrical switch, batteries, three tubes and two blocks of cheese. The bulletin said block cheese has a consistency similar to some explosives.

Houston, Nov. 8, 2006. A U.S. person's checked baggage contained a plastic bag with a 9-volt battery, wires, a block of brown clay-like minerals and pipes.

Baltimore, Sept. 16, 2006. A couple's checked baggage contained a plastic bag with a block of processed cheese taped to another plastic bag holding a cellular phone charger.

[Editor's Note: Be prepared for terror with an Emergency Radio. Homeland Security says every home should have one. Get our FREE offer Emergency Radio -- Go Here Now.]

Reader, I want you to seriously consider what you've just read and ask yourself this one question:

How can you pass up this offer for a free Emergency Radio?

For you people who doubt the severity of these warnings (and the power of cheese in the wrong hands). I suggest you shut the fuck up and move out of the U.S! You are the same type of people who couldn't care if Syria was actively seeking the materials to create large cheese wheels.

In situations like these, there is no time for rational thought, but sheer panic, duct tape and plastic sheeting.

--UPDATE--

Having looked more closely into this issue I have discovered the radio isn't free. They ask you to subscribe to Newsmax for 12 months, prepaid. The "Kaito" radio seems like it would just be an unwelcomed, long term house guest and not actually work.

I have to question the legitimacy of the cheese scare because any fool knows Cheese Whiz in a can is more dangerous as it's under pressure. It almost sounds like propaganda.

Then I saw this picture.

 

--ANOTHER UPDATE-- 

The marvels of mass media now conform the story was "Bogus."

"That bulletin for law enforcement eyes only told of suspicious items recently found in passenger's bags at airport checkpoints, warned that they may signify dry runs for terrorist attacks," CNN's Brian Todd reported Friday afternoon. "Well it turns out none of that is true."

Todd highlights the case of Sara Weiss, who was detained in San Diego after two ice packs covered in tape were found in her baggage. Weiss, who works for a faith-based organization, also was carrying a survey about Muslim Americans, which CNN says also raised law enforcement provisions.

"The FBI now says there were valid explanations for all four incidents in that bulletin, and a US government official says no charges will be brought in any of these cases," Todd reported.

Snake in A-GADDA-DA-VIDDA

Snake handlers. What a test of faith.

"they often include not only the handling of poisonous snakes (usually copperheads and rattlesnakes) in their services, but also handling fire and drinking water laced with strychnine, arsenic, or some other poisonous substance. Some of their churches even handle scorpions. Several investigations have concluded that many congregants do indeed ingest poisoned water."

Is there a congregation somewhere in America that performs religious services with circular saws and shaky ladders? Rushes into oncoming traffic. No? Then what in the hell are they doing with venomous snakes? At least try it with step stools and ladders first, work your way up.

From MyWay.com:

LONDON, Ky. (AP) - A southeastern Kentucky woman was bitten by a snake during a church service and later died, a law enforcement officer said."

The death is really not funny, but it calls into question the logic behind this practice.

"Snake handling is based on a passage in the Bible, in the Gospel of Mark, that says a sign of a true believer is the power to "take up serpents" without being harmed."

Have they not read the story of Jesus being tempted by the devil, who asked him to jump off a cliff. Jesus responded with:

"It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."
Matthew 4:7.

The strict, literal interpretation of these verses doesn't seem to be a good idea:

Mark 16:17-18: "And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover"

Luke 10:19: "Behold, I give unto you the power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over the power of the enemy: and nothing by any means shall hurt you"

How come the strict, literal interpretation of Matthew 4:7 is not adhered to? Can you say "Selective Interpretation?" It comes BEFORE these the verses this practice is based on. That's what you get for skipping ahead a few chapters. I imagine this church has the largest cemetery in town. I can see membership is a real problem.

The article goes on to say:

"Snake handling is a misdemeanor and punishable by a $50 to $100 fine."

Death is a far greater price than the fine isn't it? There are non-poisonous snakes which could be used, wouldn't this be a little easier to handle? Everybody is happy, except the snakes and the collection plate can be used to pay the occasional fines. Since a snake tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden, why introduce a snake in church, since this is the source of their troubles?

The insane part is that the preacher, George W. Hensley, who revived it, did so because the Pentecostal Church stopped the practice of snake handling. You'd think they did this for a good reason. He left the church to form the "Holiness Movement" in the 1920's to continue it. He died on July 25, 1955, from a snake bite. Excuse me, but this appears to be a sign from heaven itself that something is amiss, especially when your leader dies this way.

My personal and general rules are as follows. I have found they work well. You are welcome to apply them to your lifestyle.

• If it has scales and fangs don't pick it up
• If it's smaller than me and has more hair than I do, leave it alone
• Literal interpretations of things that cannot be verified should be avoided
• When traveling, pee and get gas before crossing the Kentucky state line

Oh ye of little faith (and common sense)!

Update:

A snake has claimed another victim in Kentucky. The family claims the person died as a result of the hospital staff making derogatory statements about her religious beliefs. I think the snake did it.

Richard Dawkins says there is no god

Richard Dawkins: Why There Almost Certainly Is No God

My scientific colleagues have additional reasons to declare emergency. Ignorant and absolutist attacks on stem cell research are just the tip of an iceberg. What we have here is nothing less than a global assault on rationality, and the Enlightenment values that inspired the founding of this first and greatest of secular republics. Science education - and hence the whole future of science in this country - is under threat. Temporarily beaten back in a Pennsylvania court, the ‘breathtaking inanity’ (Judge John Jones’s immortal phrase) of ‘intelligent design’ continually flares up in local bush-fires. Dowsing them is a time-consuming but important responsibility, and scientists are finally being jolted out of their complacency. For years they quietly got on with their science, lamentably underestimating the creationists who, being neither competent nor interested in science, attended to the serious political business of subverting local school boards. Scientists, and intellectuals generally, are now waking up to the threat from the American Taliban.

I believe in god. Not because of a faith but logic, it's makes sense. What is the primal cause of existence? It may just be a full spectrum of energy, basic powerful and sublime in its existence. In being so, it appears to be an equally a creative and destruction force which maintains equilibrium, this being evolutionary process on a scale we cannot comprehend. It may be as simple as binary interpolation of energy.



Dawkins quotes in the article:

As the distinguished American physicist Steven Weinberg said, "If you want to say that 'God is energy,' then you can find God in a lump of coal." But don't expect congregations to flock to your church.

Perfect, my theology cannot include congregations! They say primitive cavemen (Uh, cavepersons) and Hindus believe "god" is a part of all things, this is heresy to most.

There are religions that do not require you to believe in a god, but are simply ethics for living and minimizing suffering and the human condition. The real fault of Western Religions is suspending logic in favor of faith to accept a gray-haired old man who speaks to a chosen few and in the literal interpretation of "sacred texts" rather than by its merit or symbolism. Modern religions are devoid of ethics and exist as the lowest level of human control for manipulating people for personal gain. I would be a Buddhist, Taoist or Gnostic but not a fundamentalist of any religion. Man creates it's own problems and must also correct them or else be sent to the universal bit bucket. If anything evil, it's governments and religion or any organization that promotes willful violence and unnecessary destruction. Evil is simply error, man creates it and it's a lack of equilibrium. We do exhibit characteristics of a virus in that we consume more than we create. Religion is a meme that is virus of consciences.

You can't be religious if you don't believe, you can't believe without faith. Logic and reason often contradicts faith. You must accept contradictory arguments and stories (Thou shall not kill, but god can kill or tell you to kill on it's behalf). You must yield to another's self-proclaimed authority that cannot be verified and abstract. Don't they institutionalize people for this?

Dawkin's doesn't have to believe in god. God may exist regardless of his belief. It's perception that makes people believe in a god that would send him into hell for his disbelief. This is simply manufacturing a god that fulfills an ideology based on a personal belief of what god should be or is, within a limited understanding of their environment. Simply believing in god (if it doesn't exist) is far more dangerous because a committee that can be contradictory to natural human development designs it. I would say this god would be just as belligerent and malevolent as we, because it is simply a mirror of our collective behavior based on what we observe and understand.

God is most likely the sum total of energy, known and unknown. We cannot deny energy exists. Although we cannot see it we are aware of it via it's application, or effect. You exist because of a cause unknown to you. We may never know, but we still exist. Is there a morality in energy or in it's application? You and I have consciousness, whether it is simple electrical biological signals it exists and may change state, yet still exists. Not being a Buddhist, I can admire the fact it does not require the belief in a god, since it's immaterial to improving the human condition.

I don't know if god exists or doesn't. I don't think god would have to prove it. A god that required belief without providing evidence to support it, seems to be a malevolent entity and implies a plurality of gods, which seems to be confirmed by, "That shalt not worship other gods, for I am a jealous god." Would you worship the mid-level manager or the Great Spirit?

I find it odd that people who come to do "gods work" by teaching ethics, love, forgiveness and equality and that the world is an illusion are usually the ones killed. If you make claims of, speak or hear god and ask for money, you are an authority and to be respected among men.

"I'm just an ole lump of coal, but I'll be a diamond someday."
--Jon Anderson, Country Musician