Phantom Menace

In a room darkly you are confronted with the absolute horror of Roe vs Wade. A chill ripples through your spine considering the millions of souls who will never get to experience a life of abject poverty, being layed off, experiencing the sorrow of being declined coverage from a HMO. Not even being killed in a glorious confrontation with the forces of freedom-haters, bent on our destruction, will they see. Denying an unborn child the right to die for oil and profits of defense contrators is tragic within itself.

My apologies, a brief interlude is in order as I pause to contain my grief and shock thinking about the horredous effect activist courts have taken on this country. I cry as I pen these words to you, friend.

Oh humanity, these very children are being utterly deprived of the RIGHT to buy foreign goods made by children of third-world countries. They will never know the joys of working for an uncaring corporate retailer in azure vests. Old age will not be known to them as they greet vistors passing through automatic doors searching for low-low prices.

Brother, you should heed this warning. Take up arms in spirit and write your leaders. Those dwindling few who reside in our hallowed halls of justice and freedom. Demand these voices, in silent prose be heard. In the void that is silence, their chorus shan't fall upon waiting ears, ever eager to receive the melody of their circumstance , nor shall they ever speak of their plight and yearning to breathe a gossamer haze in a failed industrial town.

I implore wisdom to look upon us, guide us, as we beg the Gods to allow his awaiting children an orphanage, a foster home an opportunity to partake of Free Trade agreements.

This one thing I ask, in my humility.

Drive-up Windows

Why do fast food restaurants have 2 drive up windows? Just so they can put a "Next Window Please" sign on one?

I vaguely remember, in the distant past, where they would take your money in the 1st window, only to fuck up your order in the 2nd. Now they can do this at the same time. No need for a second window. Did the team at corporate devise a time-saving plan to screw your order on the first attempt? Yes, they did! Capitalism works!

It's getting to the point of absurdity. Who came up with this idea. McBurgers? (An amalgamation of friendly corporate fast food burger joints)

One McBurger has something called a 'Big Buford' or something to that effect. It's almost as if someone needs to have the biggest burger you can buy. For an extra dollar they should include a defibrillator or a cholesterol reducing drug.

What's going to be the next big thing, driving up to the loading dock? I can almost see an employee wheeling the next 'mega-burger' out on a hand-truck. "Do you need assistance loading this in your trunk Ma'am?"

The point of shear stupidity is almost being breached in the burger wars. I supposed it started with the restaurants who offered a huge steak. It's free if you can eat it all. Wow, a 5 lb. steak, at an exorbitant price that I can't eat. How about 4 lb. of meat to throw away. "Would you like a box to take that home and eat for a week sir?" Fuck no!

Just when is enough, enough?

Ever notice the 'themed' burger? It's Swiss when you slap a piece of Swiss cheese on it. Wow, a hamburger with an international flair. This is almost as stupid as the Hawaiian pizza, which is a pizza with pineapple thrown on it. Oh the joy of a Pacific treat, just like King Kamehameha must have had during his reign. Doubt it, seriously.

While I'm on pizzas. Pizzas have been massacred by franchises. Cheese in the dough. Layers of extra dough. Extra rubbery cheeses. 'Meat Lover's' and dipping sauce. Add a few bread sticks and sprinkle it with powered sugar and the next thing you hear is: "I never thought this would happen to me!

No, the cholesterol laden, fat and grease drenched pie couldn't have caused INSERT NAME HERE heart attack.

In case you're wondering, my idea of a pizza has three items. Pepperoni, black olives and mushrooms. Nothing else.

Got to go, the doorbell just rang.