Buddha Boy

So this 16 year old kid meditates under a bodhi tree for several months and then suddenly disappears.

"The boy's meditation and apparent 10-month fast attracted global attention before he vanished in March.

Large numbers of devotees flocked to see him to leave offerings. A massive search operation is still under way."

Where is the Buddha Boy! Well, he suddenly reappears. BBC has the video.

Bomjan's followers claim he was an incarnation of Lord Buddha who was born in Lumbini, in present-day Nepal, more than 2,500 years ago.

His followers say he has been meditating for 10 months without food or water and is immune to fire and snake bites.

But these claims have not been independently verified. Scientists were unable to examine the boy as his followers said it would disturb his meditation.

Interestingly:

"This unedited video was released by a committee managing Ram Bomjan's meditation site."

Managed by a committee? We all know committees produce fabulous results. What could possibly go wrong here?

Buddha Boy, we'll manage your mediative state and handle the press releases. You need to be focused on your Nirvana. Maurice will do your hair, Owen will ensure you have that respectful but disheveled "Incarnated Buddha" look. Nancy will contract Blackwater Security to ensure the faithful are kept at a comfortable distance. We've got the best team assembled for media relations.

Meanwhile Maurice is struggling over the hair. The "Mop Top" might be favorable for the English and early Beatles fans, but kind of dated. Regardless, the wrong product could be an issue. Choosing the right one is essential to his next appearance.

Surely the licensing of "Buddha Boy" figures and bodhi tree emblazoned yoga mats will not be overlooked. The contemporary stretch fabrics will yield to more traditional sarongs and saris. Suburban teens will no doubt be heavily factored into these trends. White kids will drop the "Gangsta" FUBU look and further criticize parents for being enmeshed in illusion. "Holy cow" toys that glitter will be manufactured for pretty little girls. Yeah, I know these are Hindu items but consumers won't care. Items will be made in China. I foresee designer miniature Buddhist altars available at Starbucks. I get crazy thinking about the market possibilities here. GET IN EARLIER! If you stall, you loose!

When Buddha Boy makes an appearance on Oprah, it's official; another Avatar has arrived. How will this effect the Dalai Lama, I don't know. I imagine the worst, it could drive him to drink and the underground opium bars. He'll put a pool cue other a patrons head screaming "I was the incarnation of Buddha, me! It was all mine until this upstart came along."

Would a returning Jesus be "handled" by a Rovian, Machivelli type? Would he need to be briefed on current events, the status of Christianity today, and current fashions? I'd imagine they would grill him on the issues before his appearence. Would he be booked on all the major talk shows? Featured in a casual setting with Elizabeth Vargas.

Vargas questions:

• What's next for Jesus, the man?
• Complete this sentence, "I would most like to change..."
• How would you respond to your critics?
• When was the last time you and Pat Robertson spoke?
• Should the U.S. take action against Chavez?
• How do you relax in your spare time?
• What are your goals in the next five years?
• Are you satisfied with the U.S. progress in Iraq?
• Any Oscar picks this year?

Of course, this is all in humor. The media would never pick up on this story because the "Missing White Woman," Tom Cruise or the "house with hundreds of unfed animals" would bump him back to a page 3 story. Most Christians wouldn't buy it because they would require him to meet the standards of Hal Lindsay and Tim LaHaye's books on the Apocalypse. "Nope, not the Christ, doesn't fit."

Almost nine months later, the Buddha Boy strikes again.